I can’t remember the last love poem that I wrote about you..
I can’t recall the last time I felt overwhelmed with love for you..
worst of all..
I can’t remember the last day that I didn’t wish I had the strength to walk away.
I dreamed of where I would be now..
Is it worth it…to give that up now?..
its too late now..
I’m too deep now..
but is it too late for me to claim cold feet now?
even if it’s not, I still don’t know how..
I’ve spent so much time reaching,
so much time wishing,
so many days in doubt,
so many nights in tears,
too many fears becoming reality..
What do I do?
How do I stop reaching?
#poetry #love #wish #fear #words
Searching and Settling
If I could hold you and have you feel all my pain, I would.
The severity of my ache is tattooed on the insides of my bones,
rotting the teeth of all the smiles that I once bore to the world…
my muscles ache from the quackeing of my shoulders,
from the clenches between my sobs.
The nobs of my knees bruised from the nights of bedside praying for clearer thoughts,
a clearer mind…
my strength of heart is fading,
impaled with words of indifference.
The father of all slayers of love is indifference.
You are indifferent to the screams that should be deafening your ears and making your eardrums bleed.
My creed solidified with tear-stained cheeks, swollen eyes and chapped nostrils.
Grief coils and spirals drilling down on my back,
weighing me down, holding me back in a past that prayers alone to the heavens couldn’t make pass.
Holding back feelings and locking away sorrows and questions, in invisible boxes, lost in the universe,
searching for translations,
yearning for confirmation of existence,
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